My 6 takeaways from 17 bosses in 30 years, along with 75 days of reflection.

This week marks seventy-five days since the biggest transition of my thirty-plus-year career. Yes, I know, on one hand nothing magical about the seventy-five day mark, on the other hand it has been enough time to allow me to reflect, process and obtain clarity. There will always be more to learn and more lessons to uncover as new situations arise, but until I retire someday, I may never have this kind of time again to truly just think.

Before I continue and just for the record, the next chapter is close to beginning, as I near the time to re-engage with the working world. This time on my terms, doing what I want, leveraging my strengths, all with the goal of having the most positive impact I can. More on all of that in the coming weeks.

During these seventy-five days, besides networking and spending some serious quality time with my family, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I’ve learned from others on this journey and maybe more importantly what I’ve learned about myself. And that’s what I want to share today.

Let’s start with what I’ve learned from others.

The other day I mentally ran through my career to date and found myself jotting down all the bosses I’ve had. It came out to seventeen in all. Some of you may find that to be quite a few, others may think that’s nothing. Regardless it is my number. I’ve had male and female bosses, bosses for as little as two months and as long as seven years. I’ve had bosses and I’ve had leaders...and I’ve had a several that were definitely both.

As is my nature, I ultimately found myself mentally stack ranking them...best to worst. And what I discovered was ironically some of my most important learnings came from those near the bottom of the list. My takeaways from these leaders were numerous, but three stood out for me and I think can benefit any leader:

1) Treat people as people first. This must start with knowing the people who work for you. Now, don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean you have to, or even should be friends with them, but understand them as wholly as possible. What drives them? What do they need from their job and career? Are there unique situations they are dealing with outside of work?

The fact is the line between work and home is blurry at best. You may never know what is happening in their life that you’re not aware of, even if you know them well. In many cases, how you act towards and react to them, the support you provide, the understanding and benefit of the doubt you offer up, may literally change the trajectory of their life. Always keep that front and center.

2) Words matter. What you say as a leader is scrutinized by employees...sometimes much more than you may ever imagine. I had a boss once who consistently told us in staff meetings that ‘I don’t do anything’. Now we understood the basic thought behind this phrase, which was this person was there to set direction and strategy and our teams were to execute against it. Fair enough. However, this phrase was reiterated so frequently in so many scenarios, that it began to send a different message...a message of ‘I’m here to set direction and then you’re on your own to take it from there’. It sent a message of lack of support. That’s when they started losing the team, as perception began to shape reality. Words matter.

3) Emotions matter. Maybe the most difficult one. People want their leaders to be human. Emotions are what set us apart from most other living things. I’ve worked in environments where emotions drove too much of the culture. For example I worked in an office where the question that started every day was ‘what kind of mood is ____  (the boss) in?’. The answer drove the entire office for the rest of day. Sometimes that was good. Others time it was crippling.

On the other hand I’ve worked in environments where emotions of any kind were frowned upon. People weren’t people. They were only employees. As a result they believed leadership simply didn’t care about them. And therein lies the challenge. The right balance. I wanted to know when my leader was energized or when they were frustrated. As long as both ends of the spectrum were kept in perspective and used to drive positive change, it was important for them to share those emotions. That’s how I learned to lead as well. Emotions matter. Use them all for the betterment of the team. Not easy. But important.

So, those are the highlights learned from seventeen bosses in thirty-some years. But what about what I’ve learned just in the past seventy-five days? Well, here’s proof that no matter how much experience one has, there is always a chance to learn more. As simple as these lessons seem to be, I’ve found some of them difficult to learn, or at least to remember, but I’m working on it every day.

1) Take care of yourself. No matter who is relying on you or who you may be supporting, if you aren’t healthy—physically or emotionally—you limit your benefit to them. As many told me I would, I discovered I had no idea how much stress was affecting me until some of it was removed. True. The key is to recognize this while it is happening and change it. I’m not sure I have guidance on how to do that just yet. Sorry. I do know life is too short for unnecessary stress. Figure it out.

2) Opportunities abound. Pursue them. Ask others for help. Time doesn’t wait. You have more skills, talents and ideas than you may recognize or admit. It can be scary. You’ll go through self-doubt. But in the end, you get one shot at all of this, take it.

3) Never ever let a bad boss, employer or job change who you are. Luckily I’ve had very few of these, a couple for sure, but not many. Be the best you you can be. Authentic leadership is talked about a lot these days. It doesn’t just apply just to leaders. It applies to people across the spectrum. If you are true to yourself so much more will fall into place. Be you!

That’s it. 30 years or 75 days. Watching others or looking inward. Learning never stops. Good luck.

Dave Lucas spent 20+ years in marketing at Caterpillar Inc., many as the Global Digital Marketing Manager, and 10+ years in leadership positions at various marketing agencies. He is now the owner of Lucas Partnering, which focuses on companies looking to leverage his experience to advance their marketing efforts to the next level. He can be reached at davidlucas@lucaspartnering.com.